Freeze it for a happier tomorrow!
Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration
Indulge yourself with the newest, life changing refrigeration breakthroughs of the 21st century. With the power of science, you’ll never have to leave the house again. You can have as much caramel pecan ice cream & bolognese pasta as you want all in the comfort of your artificially-lit bedroom.
Freeze it raw or freeze it cooked & save all kinds of money and hassles for later.
Freeze it for a fresher tomorrow.
Freeze it lest you want to deal with this stinking mess right now in the middle of your 3rd rewatch of The Office because you saved all the other shows for later till you figure out which one to watch.
Freeze it so you can make better decisions tomorrow.
Freeze it for a better version of you, I mean let’s face it, we both know you don’t deserve it right now.
Freeze it & let yourself stop worrying. With our patented technology, your frozen treasures live immortally, eons longer than you & I will ever hope to live.
Freeze it because somethings hurt too much & you’re too weak to face them right now.
Freeze it & bury it deep under the sea where it won’t find you.
Freeze it now & freeze it all. Suspend your expectations & live for the future.
Freeze life. You only get it once so why even bother fucking it up now.
Freeze everything. All of it. Now.
And remember boys & girls,
Freeze it for a happier tomorrow!